Since I joined university, I've been trying to improve myself with the aim of finding someone special. I'm not an unattractive guy, I'm neither tall nor dark but I've been approached by a fair share of girls. But despite my best efforts, my track record in the last few years hasn't improved. I've tried going out more, I've tried exercising, I've tried getting involved in more societies, the list goes on.
It seems to me as though, once a girl has had a decent conversation with me, something changes, and all her attraction just disappears. I'm 20 years old, and out of 7 girlfriends and countless more interests, I've kissed just 2, and still haven't lost my virginity. I can't understand it, and neither can my female friends.
The only explanation I can give for this is that there is something innately wrong with me, like a curse or some nervous twitch that only appears around girls I'm interested in. So I've decided that I don't want to put any more girls through this, I don't want to disappoint anyone else, so I'M GOING COLD TURKEY. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy, but it gives me some feeling of control over my life.
However, because of this decision, I've stopped exercising and become buried in work for my degree. I wonder if I have the willpower to keep this up the rest of my life. I want to believe I'm doing the world a favour, but am I just kidding myself?
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