I've been in a relationship for almost three years. The first year he was my rock. the second year he was my best friend... As we we got closer to year three, which is in two months, we moved in together and began fighting a lot. I learned that he lied about his job, education and salary. I found out from his sister that he never earned his BA and I also verified that he only makes half of what he pretended to be making. He is not an Architect, he is a drafter. I forgave him, but I never forgot. He kept these secrets for years - and I revealed some really personal things about myself to him because I thought he was the one. Now that he has moved out, I am so much happier than when he lived here. It costs me $600 more each month, but it was worth it. I'm giving up my apartment to rent a room and save a lot but that's not the point. This is my first real relationship. EVerything before this lasted no longer than 6 months and wasn't a real relationship... I realize more and more each day that my feelings for him are not the same. I still love it when things are good, and I love making love to him. But on the day to day - I want to be with someone who likes going to the beach, likes going out on new adventures ans loves integrating his family with mine. I want to be with someone who will know in less than 3 years that I am the one and will propose to me. I want to be with someone I can't wait to be around - with my boyfriend I enjoy being by myself a lot. I love him, but I don't love him anymore. I want to be friends but that romance factor seems to be gone. I am not sure it will ever come back. So funny because in January I told my best friend how much I loved him and that I wanted to marry him. Now I do not feel like that. The memeories of the fantacy of our wedding day is so different now. I pictured him in his white suit and me in my white dress smiling like crazy, happy as ever. Now when I think about it I do not get butterflies. It just seems like so bland. I am not sure I am okay with the friends with benefits thing but fact is I am not in love anymore. I guess I am more afraid of being single than staying togethe rwith a man I no longer love.
Comments
semaphore12345 said:
let the fantasy go, and 3 years is a blink of an eye (i'm old, but trust me), and the friends can fill the beach time. find a partner who can be your trust and your soulmate (or don't, but don't fill in with beach buddies).
shadowprincess said:
Thank you, I appreciate your advice.
ShadowFox said:
secrets don't make friends. i can see a guy lying at first, trying to impress you, but keeping things like that a secret for 3 years? not a good sign.
Shy said:
I have a similar problem my ex is trying to get back togeather but I don't
Shy said:
men r sneaky watch ur ass
Shy said:
I went thru the same thing you have been threw a while back accept for the lying part because at such a young age we were, he was a great provider for the both of us until he got really lazy and started listening to the wrong people, I say about time we got to year 2 I felt we were over and I started to cheat on him at the end he moved out and 9 years later we are still friends, but just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be with them, Now that I'm 28 and I have been out in the world and dated alot of dickheads I realize that at the end because things wasn't perfect between us that he was the only guy that truly loved me back and had my back if it wasn't for him I would have never learned to drive a car or finished high school or college and even though things didn't work out and we hated eachother at that time we were young and I was dum for letting a good guy like that go.
The moral of the story...LOL is things in a relationship is expected to get old not everything is new sometimes you have to stick with the one that's haves your back you say your much happier and that's good to as well but maybe you 2 should have just had sometime apart let you date a couple of loser's and the same for him, for ya'll to realize love is on your side until your 28 and have a baby by a even bigger loser and then the one you let get away Ha! he's married because someone seen what you didn't see what was their that whole time....LOl you get my drift
Think about it before it's to late forgive and forget
frenchmaid said:
Ok...hold on. After 9 years you are still friends with him? Is that hard for you emotionally? Or do you really only think of him as a "friend"..?
Shy said:
if he is lying about this stuff then you should get out asap
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Shy said:
I would suggest that you remain his friend, but back off a bit and take some time for you. Depending on the situation, it might be hard for him... or not. You haven't really addressed how he feels.
Either way, if you're not digging it, take some time for yourself and see how your feelings develop. They'll probably change one way or another.
kissykakes said:
You just need to get some spice, shake things up a little bit. Have you tried anal sex?
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