I cheated on my husband. While it did involve a physical affair, the emotional aspect is what is most troubling me. I regret it every day of my life. I have asked God for his forgivness, but am having a hard time believing that i can be forgiven. I can't forgive myself and it is eating me alive. I dont eat or sleep. I pray every night that God will take the burden of guilt away from me so I can have a life with my husband again. Please,please anyone that has experienced the same or heard similar stories help me.
I am 34 and mother of two and I never cared or crossed my mind for any male on the earth,but this guy.What I mean is that I am not a dirty trash honest to god.
My husband was the first men in my life but I was never in love with him because my parents chose him for me . It was a stupid tratition where I come from but still I know I should not done this ecause it shattered my life for ever. please help me....
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dohickey said:
maybe coming full circle with yourself (as it seems you have) is a great start. you might have to tell your spouse eventually, but first test yourself -- tell the other guy you'll never see or talk to him again. then make sure it sticks
Opal said:
God does forgive you, and in time you will forgive yourself. Don't blame yourself for this. Everyone make mistakes; it's what makes us human. We also have basic needs, and acting as if they don't exist does all of us injustice. Sure you had a choice in what you did, but you didn't mean to hurt anyone. You were just trying to nurture your soul, it sounds like. Do you want to stay with your husband? Do you think you can have a happy life with him? Figure that out and I hope you make the right decision for yourself.
Shy said:
I understand I did this just past year,and havine asked God just about evryday to forgive me. The burden of guilt is terrible.
But I do belive God will forgive me and you if we never to this again. God for gave so many people in the Bible for this,so if he is just and fair he will for give you as long as your repentance is true.
Jaysmine said:
You will Be Okay As Long As You Come to Terms That What You Did was wrong. and that you wont do it again.. you need to be truthful with your husband and then you may be at peace.. yes it will be hard and he may not trust you but you have come to him and told him what you had done and so he may forgive you and then you both can move on.. i wish you luck and i hope that you can forgive yourself.. that is what you need to decide. can you forgive yourself for what you have done. and then you can move on...
Shy said:
You want forgiveness? It's a straight sin, and that too unforgivable ... if you so repent it, you shouldn't have tried it. I am sure you want to end the marriage and that is why you carried on with the physical part in the first place.
We are not animals, and our conscience always pricks us if we are about to do something wrong. The fact that you ignored your conscience and went on with it, clearly implies that you wanted it badly.
If there is any repentance, it is in being honest with your husband and ask his forgiveness. Ask God for strength to never be disloyal to your husband again.
Shy said:
First think then act. Be careful not to repeat it next time. Only this firmness in mind can keep you happier. Think that mistakes cannot be excused. So be careful next time.
Shy said:
You already know what you have to do, but it isn't easy and I think you are hoping there is another way. . .
Repentance isn't just about asking for forgiveness and resisting the temptation to sin again -it also involves restitution.
If you look at the ancient Judaistic customs of the Old Testament, a sacrifice only covered a sin it did not absolve it -and as we all know, an unseen thing does not cease to exist. The only person who could absolve a sin was the person who had been sinned against, and one day out of the year was set aside so that all could unburden their hearts and seek atonement -it was called Yom Kippur. You have betrayed the trust of the man you married, you have broken the vows you made to another, and until you make your peace with him you may always feel sorrow and regret.
God has forgiven you, but you are having trouble forgiving yourself because the forgiveness you need can only come from your husband.
maymay said:
Well, I see here you are being advised on how to deal with your husband and his trust or lack of it for you in the future, As I see it you have 3 things to consider you and your 2 children.
Stop blaming it all on yourself, you are 24 and already have 2 kids.. what do you think was going to happen, you have not had time to live, it seems you have moved from the rule of your father to the rule of your husband, you can stretch the band so far before it snaps.
Live your life, it was an experiment you are not proud of, stop feeling guilty, and run to God for answers, he isn't there.
You can take any trip you want, but never ever take a guilt trip.
It is done, who knows what may come out of this, my guess you won't be as trusting about your husband and others going forward(I know).
Get rid of the other guy, he was a fling and filled a void, or a fantasy..that's all.
Stop feeling guilty, and depressed, life is a fast moving train, you either stay with it, or it will leave you behind.
Organized religion is based on fear and guilt, you are the only one that can solve this. only you.... be strong and if you get the urge again, then just end your relationship and move on.
Good Luck
Shy said:
We create our own hell. We are the keepers to our own prison. God has forgiven you, he forgives his children. But I ask you, do you forgive yourself? As for all this punishment hell bs, sorry ppl there is no hell we are the creators of hell. Noone else. God loves his angels and loves his children, and every creature in between. Cheating happens, so be it. But dont keep doing it. Learn and move on. I suggest, you don't tell your husband. Unless you want to break his heart into a million pieces and have him never look at you the same. I know what people think, its bad. But if you know what you did is bad, and move from it as a lesson learned thats better. This will and can destroy your marriage, dont do it! Talk to a counsellor if you like, but in my opinion just forgive and forget and move on. Best of luck.
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