Ok so I love my brother, he's awesome, talented, truly one of my best friends and he's the baby, i guess i should mention (although i dont think it's that simple)... I have no grudge against him, but my dad... He's paid my brother's rent twice in the two months he's had his own place, airfare back & forth from vegas for him AND his gf, bailed him out (so, obviously, he's not entirely perfect/deserving/etc...), my dad wont even LOAN me the money for tires that I desperately need (and i'm not a dead-beat, I've never owed/left debt/etc..) anyhoo, just here recently my brother shut my dad's business down for 3 days in a shipping error (He and my sister partners [I choose not to]) My dad misses out on $1000's. I'm there when he calls my brother, my dad was LIVID in person, he was literally looking like he was gonna EXPLODE but, in the nicest voice he could muster says, "It's not your fault," OMFG!!!! are you serious?!?!?! THEN he hangs up the phone, so irate he's shaking and pounds out the digits to my sister's cell: "WHY THE FU@%?! B!&@#!! [You did this...your fault, your fault, your fault $#!&!!!]" since she had allocated the task to my brother and HE effed it up, it was her fault. Hangs up, starts tearing into me about it (is it apparent why I have nothing to do w the fam business yet?) but...that's just a background story...
Now for my current vent: So I printed out these 8X10 portraits of our local mountain my dad had taken years back, I had them framed, put a personal inscription on them, and gave them to him for his birthday this year. I found out today that my dad sent them to my brother so "he had something on his walls in his new place..." I am so hurt by this. Completely beside the point is I got my brother like 12 frames for a house-warming gift, not to mention tapestries from our sis, but I digress... And my dad is trying to down-play this. as if I'm making too much of it. am i?
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crikey said:
hate to say it, but it's your dad that has the problem.. .your brother is just taking advantage. maybe your mom can talk to him, but it's not you, its dad.
DarkGoddessLibrarian said:
The best thing here might be just to love your Dad from a distance, regardless of your money problems. Send him cards instead of gifts and cut down on family time when he's there. When someone asks, tell them honestly that you feel that your dad is being unfair and is playing favorites. If your dad can't deal with his issues (because he obviously has them) then get out of the way so that you don't have to be affected by them.
Shy said:
Gosh, this is GREAT advice... Alas, my dad is simply too needy for me to shun him... Besides having manic-depression, anxiety problems, a drug history, and an arrested development (that i believe stems from my birth when he was 15), my dad also has abandonment issues with his own father and I'd hate to be the catalyst for him slipping beyond, hrmm ..functional, ya know? I feel I'm doomed to suffer his dysfunction because I've far surpassed his capacity to even recognize the true error of his ways. I DO, however, hop at any chance to voice my position on the second tier, so to speak..
thank you, though, really =]
Kimberly4twenT said:
ok so that WAS me, not sure why it says "shy" ===>not logged in prolly..?
kissykakes said:
Goodness, you are such a sociopath! In your other posts you show what you're really made of: a lying, stealing stoner slut who won't get married. But here you paint yourself as little miss sunshine and your brother is the devil. Of course your Dad despises you, I would disown you! Be thankful you're in his life at all....
Kimberly4twenT said:
really? thanks...
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